Doing the Work

Rudi always deeply felt that one's meditation practice should encompass and ripple out into every aspect of one's life: relationships, family, work, creative life, the environment, and more. He always envisioned his spiritual work as having practical ramifications. It's easy to talk about Love & Peace, but what does it look like? What's the step-by-step process? How dooes one get there? What's in the toolbag? Yes, we all want a joyful life and our enlightenment, but talking up an eloquent storm won't get you there. Finding happiness is equal parts journey and having the courage, stamina, and unquenchable need to do the inner work. Practitioners of Rudi's and Stuart's work share their stories of inspiration, epiphanies, and what the journey means to them:

Lightening the Load

—by Fran Bakst Chicago, IL
For me, meditation is not the answer to life, but the inspirational force which drives me to seek the answers to the big questions in life: Who is God? How can I know God? Who am I? Why am I living this life at this time? How can I learn to live my life one moment at a time, and be consciously aware of that moment as I move through my life day by day?

After many years of meditation in New York and Miami, I returned to Chicago, and found myself seeking a teacher who was right for me. I feel very blessed that the universe and my spirit guides have lead me to a very beautiful practice with an outstanding teacher, Dr. Paul Levy...
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Let It All Go

—by Steve Unger Portland, OR
I first met Stuart in January 2003 when he stayed as a guest at the bed & breakfast in Portland, Oregon that my partner and I had acquired in October 2002. I had lost my job in San Francisco in high tech marketing in June 2001 and over a year later, having moved to Oregon, we finally decided that we needed to “buy a job”. We now tell our guests that we were “high-tech refugees” who moved to Portland in search of honest labor— and found it. At that time I was overwhelmed by the challenges of our new business, and was depressed and anxious. In response I was proactive— attending a “Healing from Depression Group” and Alanon meetings, and taking medication and a homeopathic remedy. For the previous 15 years my life had pretty much been devoted to my career. Losing my job meant losing my identity. I had meditated a bit in college and read books. I had attended workshops like EST, but had no daily practice. I was a non-observant Jew, and yet felt I was spiritual. My practical spiritual expression mostly came from the 12-steps of the Alanon program...
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Finding the Tools

—by Paul Levy Chicago, IL
Throughout my teenage years and into my late 30’s, the undercurrent mood to my surface life was depression. It colored all my thoughts, speech and doings. I suspect that I was clinically depressed although I never visited a professional and so was never diagnosed or treated. I was also beleaguered by severe anger to the extent that it may actually have been a partial cause for the migraine headaches I suffered. On many days it was difficult even to get out of bed in the morning, although I always did. There was also an overwhelming and pervading confusion around “how to live.” In short, my inner life was one of anguish. My thoughts were sharp and wounding. There was the sense of being at the bottom of a deep, pitch-black abyss. It felt like the epitome of hopelessness. All this was my life on the inside, although on the outside, I was quite focused on completing my education and achieving my goals. At the same time, I had an innate sense that there must be a deeper significance to life, something my spirit continued to search for....
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On the Other Side of "Stuff"

—by Carole Singleton New York, NY
When I first met Stuart Perrin, I was going through great difficulty in my life. One of my closest friends was dying. This person was also someone who had helped me find my spiritual path initially. I had lost my job and in general things were difficult for me. I was not very trusting of others. There was a lot of fear in me. Previously, I’d been in situations where I thought people were trying to harm me for no apparent reason. At the same time, I was searching for a spiritual teacher because I knew that I wanted to work to the other side of this fear, anger and general anxiety I felt. I knew that I couldn’t do this on my own.

So someone introduced me to Stuart Perrin and I began studying with him. At first it was very difficult for me to study with him because he was always surrounded by anywhere from 5 to 35 people at a time and I was very much afraid of large groups of people. I could see the love and the simplicity with which Stuart taught the meditation and I knew I had to endure whatever it took for me to study with him....
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Instilling Courage

—by Alik Elzafon Carmel, CA
How did Rudi and his work affect my life?

It gave me life.

In 1971 I was a young man just out of film school, totally devastated by life’s mystery, whose sole purpose was to go through a day and stay alive.

An elderly man, the head of mind control in NYC, refused to let me study with him. ‘You don’t belong here’ he said ‘you belong with Rudi’. ‘Who is Rudi?’ I asked. He is a fat Jew who will knock you down with his energy’, he replied. It took me two weeks of constant inner struggle to finally traverse the short distance between my apartment and Rudi’s store.

I walked in singing and chanting to keep my mind still. Rudi looked up at me and smiled. ‘I love you very much‘ he said, and sent me to learn the exercise...
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Having the Confidence to be Happy

Paula Pennant by Paula Pennant London, England
When I first glanced at A Deeper Surrender: notes on a spiritual life I didn’t really expect much, but after feeling compelled to read it, I bought it. It has been 2 years since I first read A Deeper Surrender and I still read it today. A book with many shining gems, it offers invaluable insights that cut across all self-imposed barriers. It’s real and unrelenting in describing how one can go about achieving a spiritual life. In a world where everyone thinks they know the right way, the gritty realism of A Deeper Surrender is refreshing. It makes no bones about what one has to do. There are no short cuts. One has to make a concerted effort, and do you know what, I can say it is certainly worth it.

It may sound a little silly coming from a 25 year old girl, but I have always felt that no matter what the world throws at me, growth is my main objective in life, and just to keep on smiling inside regardless of the blows. However, I sometimes felt as though my refusal to be cynical was met with more cynicism and frowns, and I myself doubted at times whether feeling happy was really that important. However, with Stuart’s guidance, I have realized that it is the best gift anyone can give to themselves....
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Exiting the Lost Highway

by Derek Lords New York, NY
It was the Spring of 1996 in Seattle Washington and my life could best be described by that old song by Hank Williams called "Lost Highway", for I was definitely like a rolling stone, all alone and lost. I literally blew into Kris's apartment like a piece of dried out tumbleweed for my first class, but she saw fit to teach me the meditation exercise in that condition. Without even knowing it, I had stumbled upon Ali Baba's cave of splendors and the magic word was Thanks. The potential for a spiritual life became real for me in that moment.

Our meditation is the most precious gift that has ever been given to me, except, obviously, Life itself. How can I ever forget the experience of learning the meditation for the first time, or of what it looked like and felt like just to be in the presence of transcendental consciousness such as had only been described in the books I had read while searching for answers to the questions that plagued me. "Who am I?" "Is this it?" "Why am I so miserable inside?" "What's the point?"...
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Love in Disguise

by Kris Armetta Portland, OR
This year, 2010, I will be seventy years old. It hardly seems possible. I have lead an interesting and fulfilling life up till now, and the center of it, like the axis of a wheel, has been learning Rudi’s meditation practice from our beloved teacher, Stuart Perrin.

The Buddhists speak of being bound to the wheel of samsara (illusion, life and death) but for me our meditation has been a wheel of a different sort, rolling along, moving me towards spiritual, physical, emotional and material freedom. I’ve been practicing our meditation for 30 years. During that time I’ve encountered an assortment of human challenges...
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Stopping the Mind's Resistance

by Elana New York, NY
It’s an unbelievable coincidence, but like Sara, I came to Stuart after reading his book Leah. I purchased it at Tibet House in New York, trying to find something nurturing for my painful soul. I couldn’t express my response to this book better than Sara did. I had been in the same conflicted state for 3 dreadful years, torn between love and hate, illusion and truth, expectation and reality, fighting, frustrated, stuck in my thoughts, almost to the point of insanity. I also cried without stopping when I met Stuart and felt an unbelievable love and trust after the first meeting...
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Spirituality in the Shadow of War

by Elli Malki Jerusalem, Israel
In the winter of 1984, I was travelling with two friends in India. I was 24 years-old and just finished a long service in the Israeli navy. Since I was interested in the practice of yoga, I planned the trip so that we will be able to visit a few ashrams that I'd heard about already in Israel. Thus, we found ourselves staying in the Shivananda Ashram in Trivandrum, which is in the southern part of India.

I still remember clearly one conversation that I had with the secretary of the ashram. He was an English guy who renounced his life in England and moved to live and serve in the ashram. We talked about wars and conflicts in the world and the secretary said that human beings should live in peace, should not hate each other and all the more so should not kill each other. I remember how me and my friends attacked him with tough questions: What do you do when you are faced with irrational hatred? How do you deal with situations in which you have to protect yourself and the people who are close to you?...
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Sara's Story: Driving Myself Crazy...

Sarah Galassini by Sara Galassini New York, NY
When I first decided to meet with Stuart I was in a very difficult moment. It wasn't the first time that I was feeling so helpless and incapable of taking further steps with my life, as I was coming from 3 intense years of deep insecurities, confusion, contrasting feelings of love and hate towards the very same people that are the most important and precious to me. I was continuously battling with my inner self, my dreams and expectations towards myself and life, to the point of driving myself crazy by thinking the same thoughts over and over, hoping to find a solution to something that was becoming more complicated by the minute. I could hardly leave home because I was incapable of sharing my fragility with anybody around me. I knew I needed help but didn't really know where to look for something or someone that could teach me how to embrace myself and learn to accept whatever was going on with me, and work from there....
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